Just Kiss the Guy
by Peachly
Summary: They only needed a little very simple advice: Just kiss the guy. KS pre-slash. First time.
1. Bones' Advice

It had been over thirty minutes since Jim walked into the CMO office and twenty minutes since he stopped trying to get McCoy to amuse him. So Jim had taken to sitting in his usual chair, quietly leaning on the messy desk and fiddling with an empty hypospray cartridge.

"Shouldn't you be out trying to fuck something?" McCoy asked, his patience finally running thin. It was shore leave; he shouldn't see hide-or-hair of this kid until he stumbles into sickbay with a case of something weird and alien where the antidote is either non-existent or he's allergic to it.

Jim glanced at him. "I'm not in the mood."

"Jim Kirk not in the mood? What blasphemy is this?" he asks sarcastically.

He doesn't even respond.

McCoy rolled his eyes and put his PADD down. This was getting ridiculous. "Jesus, would you just kiss the guy?"

Jim looked at him wide-eyed. "What?"

"Just go up, tell Spock how you fucking feel and get it over with."

He suddenly blushed deeply. "I don't know what you're talking about."

McCoy gave him a pointed look as he took out his bourbon and poured himself a drink.

"Shit," Jim groaned and put his face in his hands. "Is it really that obvious? Tell me this isn't the worst-kept-secret on the _Enterprise._"

"All of Starfleet."

He looked at him horrified. "You're kidding me."

"Yeah," McCoy admitted, sipping.

Jim shot him a scowl. "Asshole," he mumbled.

"Everyone else thinks you're just buddy-buddy," he assured him before he has a heart attack. "No one else can interpret all the touchy shit you do. I've just known you long enough to be able to tell when you're flirting for fun or for real."

Jim shook his head. "I don't even know what to do," he admitted. At least he didn't try too hard to deny it.

"Don't say a word, not a single word. Just kiss him."

"This is Spock we're talking about here," he said, dejected. "I try that and he'll nerve pinch me before I could even get within a foot. There's a good chance he'll just look at me, say, 'That would be illogical, Captain. Please go back to performing your duties,' and walk away."

McCoy frowned slightly. "I have to say, I think that was the best Spock impression I've ever heard."

Jim gave him an irritated look. "Thanks. That solves all my problems. I don't have to be with him; I can just impersonate him saying my name when I'm jerking off."

McCoy grimaced. "Jesus, don't tell me shit like that. I don't need disturbing pictures in my brain."

He smirked.

McCoy wanted to slap it off his face. "Getting back to the topic at hand, you don't know until you bring it up."

Jim suddenly looked thoughtful for a moment "I would have thought you'd be against this."

"Me?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Didn't think you liked him."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "You of all people should know I don't mean half the shit I say to the guy."

"No, I know you don't hate him as much as it sounds like. I just thought you didn't like him."

"He gets on my nerves and I think all that reliance on logic is bullshit, but I don't have anything against the goblin. Though I don't know how a relationship with him would work since he demonizes emotion so much. Damn logic machine."

"He isn't a computer," Jim defended.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "So he's told me. Many times. Ask him, I'm sure he could tell you exactly how many."

Jim snorted.

"I mean, I just don't know what you see in him."

Jim sat back in his chair. "He's just… At lunch, he sits across from me and he doesn't say a lot, but I'm comfortable and there's just something about being able to sit with someone and not need to say anything."

McCoy's eyebrows furrow. "We share those kinds of silences. How do you know you don't just like him as a friend?"

He thought for a moment. "Yeah, we do, but when it happens with Spock, I wanna jump across the table and… and _molest_ him. I don't want to do that to you when it happens with us. No offense."

McCoy snorted. "None taken. Believe me. Jim, just do it. When have you ever been this shy about kissing someone?"

"There's a difference between just kissing someone and admitting you like them."

"There's certainly no better way to show that you like him than by just kissing him. What's the worst that could happen?"

Jim frowned. "He asks for a transfer to another ship? He suddenly draws away again because he doesn't want to give me the wrong impression? He turns out to be a homophobe and beats my ass?"

"It's also possible he wants you too," he suggested. He couldn't believe he was actually trying to get Jim to hookup with the Vulcan. He's a doctor, not Cupid. "Just do what you always do: leap without looking. There're always two outcomes. It turns out way better than you could have hoped for, or it goes horribly wrong and I'm there to pick up the pieces like I always am and you get over it. Either way, it always turns out fine in the end."

Jim was silent for a long time, and McCoy let him contemplate. He normally wasn't this forceful, but he hated a mopey Jim. Mopey Jim always came to annoy him, making _him_ a grumpy McCoy. And he preferred his best friend to not be so anxious. It made him anxious too.

It wasn't until he finished off his second glass that Jim finally stood.

"Made a decision?" he drawled.

Jim smirked, looking at McCoy for the first time in half an hour. "Yeah," he said in that confident voice that confirmed to McCoy exactly what he was going to do. He started to leave but hesitated as the door swooshed open. He turned back. "Hey, Bones? Uh, thanks."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Get the hell outta here," he snapped. This was getting way to mooshy for him.

Jim chuckled, shaking his head as he left, and McCoy got ready for the impending storm. Because there was _absolutely no way_ that hobgoblin was going to like him back.

So he assumed, anyway.

* * *

**Author's note:** This is based on The Little Mermaid song _Kiss the Girl_. Written for tryal-and-airror, who showed me this amazing video on YouTube: /watch?v=ln1G8u5RdzY. Sorry it took so long. I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Uhura's Advice

Uhura was struck with an odd sense of déjà vu as she allowed entry into her room at the buzz and Spock walked in. She had been getting ready to head down for shore leave. Back when they had been together, he would often meet her in her quarters to head down together. The feeling quickly subsided and she smiled brightly.

"Hello, Spock."

He gave a courteous nod. "I hope I am not intruding."

"Of course not," she said, giving a dismissive gesture. "What can I do for you?"

"Nyota, may I ask you for advice on a personal matter?" Spock asked.

"Of course," she said cheerfully, though inside she felt a bit of trepidation towards what the topic of their discussion would be about.

Spock was silent for a moment with his eye down at the desk, which told Uhura he was carefully wording his question, before finally speaking. "What is the standard human protocol for admitting… attachment towards another?"

She looked at him surprised. "You mean, how do you tell someone you like them? Have strong emotions towards them?" She specified.

He gave a single nod.

She studied him a moment. He didn't seem very as uncomfortable with the subject as she thought he'd be. He could just be hiding. "You want to tell someone that you love them?"

He hesitated, the sign of discomfort appearing on his face. "That I feel… strong attachment to them, yes."

"Stronger than normal."

"Yes."

Uhura paused. Since they terminated their relationship, she always knew she would probably have to help Spock out with a relationship at some point. A point far in future after she had already gotten someone else, and wouldn't feel awkward about giving this sort of advice to an ex-boyfriend. It _had_ been a year since they broke up. That was more than an acceptable time between relationships.

"Well," she said slowly. "There isn't really one way that humans tell someone that they like them. I guess it more depends on the person they're admitting it to and what they would respond positively to. Sometimes a note works, or outright telling them. Some people would prefer a romantic setting. Some people would like a present."

"I see," he said slowly, tilting his head. He appeared to be trying to figure out which of her suggestions would work.

"Can you… tell me a little bit about them? It'd be easier for me to give advice," she said.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Would it not be easier to merely tell you who it is?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I just didn't want to intrude." As curious as she was, she wasn't going to pry. Hand it to Spock to suggest the more efficient way.

"Jim."

She started at him. "Jim who?"

He gave her a curious look. "Jim Kirk."

Her eyes widened, and she was sure if the desk hadn't been behind her, she would be sitting on the floor now. "_Kirk? Our Captain? Really?_" Her voice raising in pitch with each question.

He frowned slightly. "Yes. I am not aware of another Jim Kirk."

"No, yeah. I'm just," she stuttered, "surprised."

He merely looked at her, waiting patiently for her to collect herself. Something she did very quickly. She had no idea why Spock wanted a relationship with Kirk of all people. But she was not going to ask. She was not going to inquire. Even if she was _really, really_ curious, she was not going to pry.

"Right. Kirk." She stopped. How would someone tell a guy like Kirk that they loved him? "You just kiss him."

An eyebrow rose. "Would that not be rather inappropriate?"

She gave him a pointed look. "This is Kirk we're talking about here. Kissing is his usual greeting."

He hid an exasperated look.

He liked Kirk? She still had some trouble wrapping her head around that one. Personally, she had been rooting for Christine. She was an intelligent and pretty woman, if slightly clumsy, and her crush for him was quite obvious. Spock wouldn't have to worry if he told her he liked her. Other than needing to make sure to catch her when she fainted.

There had been many other women who showed interest. Ms. Kalomi on Omicron Ceti III had been a very nice girl, and they had a bit of history. She _had_ sort of manipulated him into getting hit with those spores, but her own infection could be blamed for that. Droxine had been very interested and Spock appeared to be the same, but although she had acquired a higher education, she was rather… ditzy, and her personal views were a little skewed. It appeared something had gone on between him and that Romulan commander, but she _was_ a Romulan and an enemy to the Federation, so that probably wouldn't have worked out. She remembered hearing of another woman, but she never got any details.

T'Pring was definitely out.

Uhura couldn't deny Kirk and Spock had a bond, of sorts. Against all odds and after a very bumpy start, they managed to be able to work together. Not only just work together but very well. They complimented each other in their thinking, combining logic and creativity. They managed to get the _Enterprise _out of some very dire circumstances with little bickering, and any bickering they did wasn't hostile. They even managed to enjoy each other's company outside of work. It was not odd to see them playing chess in one of the rec rooms or sparring in the gym.

Friendship. Camaraderie. But love? Uhura was having some trouble with that one. She wanted to ask if Spock knew exactly what love was, but she stopped herself. It was a stupid, and rather demeaning, question. He recognized when their own love had flourished and when it had begun to wane.

Love? Really?

"If you're sure about your… feelings than kissing him would probably be the most efficient way to see if he likes you back." _It's also probably the quickest way to put you out of your misery_, she thought. Kirk wasn't the commitment type, the exact opposite of Vulcans. And Spock trying to express his feelings verbally was a rather adorable but pathetic sight. He probably would do no worse than others confessing to their crush, but considering he's a controlled Vulcan, it's obvious to see that his control was _completely_ gone. "You have to ensure that your stance known though," she added quickly. "You have to directly tell him right after. He could just interpret a kiss as just a proposition if you don't tell him how you feel."

Spock hesitated. "Are you aware of any hostilities towards homosexuals?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.

Uhura stopped herself from laughing outright. "No, I wouldn't worry about that, Spock. I'm fairly sure he's bisexual."

His eyebrows raised in mild surprise. "Indeed?"

She really wanted to know how he could not have noticed. "Yes. I'm very sure."

He contemplated a moment. "And if he does not reciprocate?"

She shrugged. "This is Kirk, so I'm sure if he doesn't like you, he'll just let it slide or joke it off. It might hurt, but I doubt he could change your current relationship. I doubt he'd want to change it. If he doesn't like you back, I mean."

He gave a nod in agreement. "Yes. Very well, thank you, Nyota."

"Oh, yeah. Of course." She forced a slightly tight smile. "Good luck."

He nodded again and took his leave.

Uhura just hoped Spock wasn't too hurt by the rejection.

* * *

**Author's note:** So many people had been asking me to continue this and I suddenly got an idea, so I'll do it! Even though I don't need any more WIPs, I'm a sucker for what the people want.

I normally hate when stories are vague on the S/U breakup. I had an idea for it, but these are short and I felt that if I added it, this would turn out more centered on Uhura and Spock's past relationship than her actual advice. So I apologize for that. I tried to make Uhura not-a-bitch (because I _do_ like her, just not S/U), but she just hasn't _quite _warmed up to Jim yet.

Peachly


	3. Jim's Thoughts

It took about two corridors, a short turbolift ride and three more corridors for Jim's earlier confidence to deflate completely. Lacking confidence was a new feeling to him, and he decided he didn't like it. Bones had made it sound _so easy_, and Jim even managed to convince himself that, yes, it was. He had strolled out of Sickbay, planning to head straight for Spock's quarters to tell him that he… ok, there was no way getting around it… that he _loved _him before he lost his nerve.

But the half-life of his nerve was shorter than he thought, because now he was loitering at a low-traffic intersection outside of the officer's quarters, trying to look as if he actually had a purpose for being there. He opted for the 'I'm waiting for someone' look and leaned against the bulkhead, surveying the corridors as if awaiting the arrival of an appointment.

He soon felt like an idiot and left.

Jim couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact day that he started liking Spock more than as a friend, but he could tell you the exact moment he realized he did. It hadn't been during a crisis or after one of them was injured and had to be taken to sickbay for surgery. It was a glance. A short look shared between them in amusement when Jim had commented on… He couldn't even remember what he had said after they beamed down to that planet. It was forgotten when the sudden realization hit him like a strong kick to the solar plexus.

It was the realization that more was said between them in that glance than a whole night of chatting with someone. It conveyed trust and respect and amusement and the knowledge that if something were to happen to one, the other would do anything in their power to get them back, even if it meant their own lives.

If that wasn't the basis for love in one form or another, Jim didn't know what was. No one would say he was the most romantic or the most emotionally aware, but he kind of knew how things were supposed to feel. Sure, the last time he really felt love was back in kindergarten probably. Romantic love, anyway. A little girl who thought he had cooties.

He loved Bones but in a brotherly way. He could confide in Bones with a lot of things but there was only so much he could really tell him. There were a few things that he thought about telling only Spock, though he hadn't yet. He never felt that need to find Bones, to be near him as if his happiness depended on it.

He couldn't imagine not seeing Spock everyday.

No, this was ridiculous. It _is_ as easy as Bones said it is. Jim had jumped into more bad situations than he could remember. There was no way he can just run away from something this simple.

Jim steeled himself before heading straight towards the nearest terminal and hitting the needed buttons. "Computer, locate crewmember Spock," he said confidently. He watched as the information was brought up on the screen. _Deck 5, Section 4, Room 2F 132. Assignment: Uhura, Nyota._

Jim cringed and cleared the information. He walked away, dejected. There was no way he was bursting into Uhura's cabin and confessing his love for Spock in front of her.

_Confessing his love_? God, he'd watched way too many of those soaps. It wasn't his fault. How could he change the channel when the little old lady sitting next to him on the shuttlecraft back from Earth had been so enthralled? Even _he_ wondered if Thy'mak was going to keep her child with Larhs, the evil twin of her lover Shral, who was the nephew and adopted son of her husband Thelan, who, unbeknownst to her, had been diagnosed with Glicogerahyxoccia and only had three weeks to live. Glicogerahyxoccia, really? That's so overdone.

Jim stopped. What the hell was he talking about? He needed to get back to the problem at hand: Forgetting that he had any feelings towards Spock. He decided the solution was running away by going down to shore leave and getting really drunk and, as Bones delightfully put it, try to fuck something.

He faked a bright smile to the transporter attendant and stepped onto the transporter pad.

"Where to, sir?" What was his name again? Lt. Kyle?

Jim gave a vague gesture. "Doesn't really matter. How about the point the least number of people have transported down to."

Kyle gave him a surprised look before nodding. He adjusted the coordinates. "The least populated spot is near the park."

He frowned slightly. He preferred to go down near the entertainment district, but he _did_ as for the least populated area, which of course wouldn't be the bars and clubs. "Yeah, alright. Energize."

He felt the tingle of the beam as the transporter room dissolved and he found his vision filled with brown. He jerked back, suddenly worried the coordinates had been wrong, but he soon just realized that a tree was right in front of him.

Jim sighed and turned. Just as Kyle had promised, the park was deserted. This wasn't exactly the best place to take his mind off Spock. This was a place for contemplation, and thinking was really the last thing he wanted to be doing. He'd feel a little silly messaging back to get himself sent to a more bustling area of town.

He wandered around for a while before finally finding a bench. He plopped down and rubbed his face. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**Author's note:** Yeah, so I need to update more. So I got this out. You people and your making me continue this! You better like it. OR ELSE! Or else Jim and Spock will never get together. *shakes fist*

Peachly

PS: You guys know I actually love you, right? I do, I swear.


End file.
